After doing this for nearly two years, I’ve come to the conclusion that winning two days in a row when it comes to Netflix Roulette is a mathematic impossibility. So, I’m really not sure why I keep risking it. After slogging my way through Bleed I’ve come to the realization that the only way I’m going to hit my goal of 99 posts this year is to mix it up. I’m going to have to do more of my Classics Revisited, In “Theaters” Now, and Recommendation posts.
I’ve clearly given away how I feel about Bleed, but I still owe you an explanation. From 2016, this movie revolves around… you know what, I just don’t care… also, to try to recount this ludicrous film is a waste of everyone’s time. That’s not to say that it is inscrutable… in fact, it has a relatively straight-forward and linear plot. The problem is I feel like I can hear the meeting between the screenwriter (Ben Jacoby) and the director (Tripp Rhame) who came up the idea for the film:
Rhame: (relating a clear and well-put-together plot)
What Jacoby hears while playing Words with Friends: “This happens, then this happens, then this, blah, blah, blah, the end”
Jacoby: “that sounds amazing boss!”
Rhame: “Great now write it up”
Jacoby: “ummm… okay… can I ask a few clarifying questions first?”
Rhame: “Weren’t you listening to what I just said!?!”
Jacoby: “Never mind… I got this!”
Nine months later Bleed is born
At times the film feels more like a made-for-TV movie, with near SyFy-level bad special effects. It’s more of a bloated episode of Supernatural than it is a movie. Nobody is likeable… there are too many random background stories, character traits, and ideas that all come together in a way that just feels… silly. It seems like it trying to create some kind of mythology, but it’s just slightly creepy nonsense (emphasis on slightly). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this movie to be longer, but it just feels extremely rushed and yet, at the same time, relatively little seems to happen. And don’t get me started on the characters… again, they’re all unlikeable (and not even in interesting ways) and they make extremely stupid decisions… this is especially troubling since they are clearly all in their 30’s. I’m going to end with this, the final thing I wrote down while watching the movie: “I just don’t care”.
That’s a short one… but it’s all the time this movie deserves.